A Gentlemanly Wager
by UnicornsRFluffy
Summary: So Captain Hook, Dr. Whale and Robin Hood walk into the diner. They decide to compete for Ruby's affections. I have no idea what Robin will be like so this is pure conjecture.


It was a slow Wednesday in Storybrooke. Victor walked into Granny's and took his now usual spot at the bar. He always came in on Wednesday mornings, because Ruby worked the early shift and he was just getting off of work. It also gave him to chance to have some one on one time with her without asking her out, which he was terrified to do. She smiled and greeted him and took his order like always. He was waiting for her to place the order and make her rounds when a new person sat directly to his right. He vaguely remembered the man being the infamous outlaw, Robin Hood.

"She sure is a beautiful woman." Victor wanted to declare that she was _his_ beautiful woman, but that claim was so erroneous that the other man would probably just laugh.

"She is definitely that, but she's also smart and has many secrets." Victor hoped that would scare him off as most men were usually uncomfortable with a woman that could easily outsmart them. He was proud to say that he was not one of those men.

"Is she spoken for?" Apparently this Robin Hood wasn't either.

"She's not. The last guy she that tried to talk to her that way was cut in half." Victor knew that was petty, but he really wanted this guy to get lost. Instead Robin smiled.

"I do love a challenge." Victor almost said something else, but someone sat down directly to his left. He almost put his head on the counter in defeat. It was that nasty pirate.

"What's this about a challenge and does it involve that pretty treasure over there?" He cocked his head in Ruby's direction. Victor had never wished in all his 30 years that he had been a soldier instead of a man of science as much as he did right now. He would have normally thought it ridiculous to come to blows over a woman, but at the moment it seemed downright logical.

"It does. Who are you?" Robin didn't seem to be thrilled with the arrival of the pirate either.

"Name's Killian Jones. Most people just call me Hook." He held up his left hand to indicate why, the infuriating smirk never leaving his face. "Who might you chaps be?"

"I am the outlaw Robin Hood, and this….well I didn't catch your name." Robin looked almost shocked at that realization.

"I'm Victor. The people around here just call me Dr. Whale. I work at the hospital. You know saving lives and putting people back together." He could at least say that out of these three he was the most respectable. "And that beautiful woman and pretty treasure is Ruby." He made sure to put the right amount of derision in his voice to let them know that he was the best of them. Of course this made the outlaw smile and the pirate missed the point completely.

"Ahhh she is named after a precious stone. How appropriate." Killian turned away from them to admire her as she reached for something that was just a little out of reach. Victor noticed that Robin had noticed what she was doing as well. He was a bit upset about it even though he would have been doing the same thing if he were alone.

"She is not the kind of woman you fool around with, gentlemen." Victor wasn't sure if it was the slight sulk in his tone or the use of the word gentlemen that brought their attention back to him.

"Why do you say that?" It would be the pirate, Victor thought.

"For starters she is the best friend of Snow White. If she is so inclined she could bring half this town down on you with a single bat of her eyelashes. Secondly, see that older lady watching us over there?" Both men looked and nodded. "That's Ruby's Granny. She could lay you low with one arrow from her crossbow. And these are only if Ruby decides you aren't worth taking care of herself." Victor felt certain that he had won.

"Now that sounds like a woman that I would take great pleasure in having at my side." Victor mentally kicked himself. He forgot that Killian had been faithful to one woman before.

"I have long been drawn to strong women. Like I said earlier, I love a challenge." Victor was sure he had just died and gone straight to hell.

"How about a gentlemanly game then. One that will decide her favor." Victor wasn't sure he liked the sound of it, but he knew he would have to play if he wanted a chance with her.

"Hook, right?" Killian nodded. "I like the sound of this plan, but there is a problem. Only the good doctor here could claim being a gentlemen and from the way he was looking at our Ruby I would say it's a loose claim at best." Victor was inclined to agree with the outlaw.

"Well he still has a claim, and I am bound by my code. You however are a thief if I remember correctly, and I believe the saying is 'No Honor Among Thieves?" Victor was about to interject, but Ruby beat him too it. He knew she had to of heard them. She had super hearing, but she didn't let one as if anything was new.

"Victor it seems you have some new friends. Killian and Robin if I remember correctly." Of course she had to look at them and smile her dazzling smile. Now that the other men had gotten a taste of her he knew they would not be crying off.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ruby. Victor here was just telling Robin and myself about you, as we were most intrigued." He said with a smile that would have made any other girl swoon. Ruby took it in stride.

"I'm sure he was way too kind."

"I was honest." Victor returned her smile, so she would know that he hadn't said anything important to these new men in town. Her secrets we hers to tell.

"It seems that your friend here is the strong and silent type." Victor was hopeful for the two seconds before Robin opened his mouth.

"I was, but momentarily rendered silent by your presence. You are a very vivacious and beautiful woman." Victor thought that sounded damn near like poetry. He almost cursed when a small blush crept into her cheeks and she tucked her hair behind her ear. From the look on Killian's face he wasn't too pleased either.

"Thank you." It was the first time he had heard her sound girlish. "I have already put in Victor's order, but is there anything I can get either of you?" He was glad she recovered quickly. It gave him a little hope. He didn't say anything as they put their orders in and as she walked away. He waited.

"She's mine." They both said it at the same time. Victor almost rolled his eyes. They reminded him of his brother and their friends when they saw a pretty girl.

"I believe we were headed to a gentlemen's game?" Victor enjoyed having the upper hand for the moment.

"But he's a thief."

"I am an Outlaw. The only stealing I did was from the rich to the poor. It was to save those who had once been my people." Just what he needed a man that said and did the right things.

"This is what I propose. We each take her out for a month. Then at the end of that month at the Summer festival she decides which of us she wants." It was the best plan Victor could come up with while they had ordered.

"Sounds fair, but how do we decide who goes first?" The pirate had an eye for detail, who knew?

"Draw straws?"

"You are a cunning outlaw, and that's the best you can do?"

"It's simple and it will work, pirate."

"Gentlemen. We will draw straws, but let's lay down a few ground rules. 1. We don't interfere in each other's plans. At all. 2. We take turns. You can't go out of turn. 3. No one sleeps with her. It will complicate the matter far too much." Both of the other men nodded to Victor's terms.

"Alright boys, here you go." One had to admire the speed and skill that Ruby had at waitressing.

"Ruby, can we get three extra straws, please?" Ruby handed them over without question and left with a smile. This made Victor very suspicious. He cut them in varying lengths and held them in his hand. Out of fairness he would let them draw first. "Shortest straw gets to go first."

Robin drew first then Killian. Victor held up his own and saw the order. Killian would go last and Robin would go second. That meant that he would get to ask her out first. Suddenly he was terrified.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Ruby was trying desperately not to just fall over laughing. She was flattered that these very handsome men were organizing a game to win her affection, but at the same time it seemed a little old fashioned and ridiculous. She would have gotten angry, but as the terms stood she would get to pick who she wanted, even if that meant none of them. She decided to enjoy letting herself be courted. Granny walked up beside her.

"Did you hear those three fools and what they are panning?"

"I did. It's flattering and more than a little old fashioned, and I swore I would never love again after what happened to Peter. I'm afraid all they have to look forward to is a slightly broken heart."

"Tread carefully, girl, or the heart you break could very well be your own."


End file.
